


So this is what Love Feels Like

by Switch_Star



Category: Ensemble Stars! (Video Game)
Genre: Fake Dating, Fluff, Love Confessions, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-03
Updated: 2018-04-03
Packaged: 2019-04-18 02:45:22
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,668
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14203350
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Switch_Star/pseuds/Switch_Star
Summary: Tsumugi decides to play along with Kanata's fake dating in order to keep Kaoru at a distance. However, Tsumugi never once thought anything that they did together was fake.





	So this is what Love Feels Like

**Author's Note:**

> There was only one fic of this pairing I could find so I decided to write one myself! I was way too committed to writing this, but I hope you all enjoy. 
> 
> (Heads up, I will not be writing Kanata's verbal quirks because it just doesn't work with the English language.)

The hallway was quiet, not a person in sight. Club activities had already started so everybody was off doing their own thing. Tsumugi padded down the empty hallway, books piled high in his arms as he made his way towards the library. Usually Switch would have been practicing at that time. However, Natsume had cancelled practice that day due to family circumstances. Which was usually was code for  _ “mommy is taking me somewhere special today so you two can go find something else to preoccupy yourselves.” _ Though, Tsumugi dare not say it knowing Natsume would surely have punched him. Instead he decided to take the extra time he was given to shelve books in the library. 

He told the person on duty that day to take the rest of the evening off and that he would take care of the rest of the work. They happily agreed and left Tsumugi to tend to the books. When he finally made it to the library the doors were already open much to his pleasure knowing it would have been a nightmare trying to open the door with his arms full. He stepped in and didn’t see anyone present. 

“Strange,” he said to himself. “Maybe someone just forgot to closed the doors after they left.”

He let the thought slip from his mind once he made to one of the shelving carts. Neatly, he organized the books alphabetically though he would have prefered to do it by color since today his lucky color was green. Also his lucky number today was twelve so he carried a small pouch containing twelve coins inside. His daily horoscope said  _ “today you will experience nothing you ever have before and it will leave you happiness that will last a lifetime.” _ Waiting to find out what this mystery experience was going to be sent shivers of excitement down his spine. Not usually did his horoscope predictions actually come true but he felt that his luck was looking up that day. Not once was he lectured by Keito that morning, nor did he receive any harsh treatment from Natsume. Eichi even decided to share some rare type of tea he had gotten with him during lunch. The day was certainly a pleasant one, he didn’t get many of those.

Gently, he began pushing the cart down the rows of bookshelves slowly placing each book in its respective place. People would always yell at him for shelving so slowly or for organizing the books on the cart in a strange way, yet he didn’t mind. They were all right after all. He couldn’t do anything right and he knew it. All he could do was his best, even if no one saw it that way, he at least had to try. Never once did he want to complain, knowing that people needed him and he was more then willing to be of help. Supporting others was what he was good at and one of the  _ very _ few things that he liked about himself.

After placing the last book on its place in the shelf Tsumugi headed back to the front desk. To his surprise someone was sitting behind the desk. A boy sat with his head resting on top of his arms breathing peacefully as if he had been asleep for hours. His bright cyan hair fell neatly over his arms and his ahoge bounced softly with every breath he took. Tsumugi smiled. It wasn’t often that he came to the library but Tsumugi would still tend to any request that he had for him at the time. Leaving the cart where it sat he walked over to the desk and gently shook the boy’s shoulder.

“Kanata-kun,” Tsumugi whispered. “Is there anything you need?”

With a few shakes Kanata slowly raised his head. His light green eyes stared listlessly at Tsumugi as he took a moment to register the situation. He was always like this, quiet, mysterious and had a strange aura that surrounded him. One that was so faint it was as if he didn’t have one. Kanata carried that about himself acting so aloof making his presence so hard to notice. At times Tsumugi wondered if he was really there at all. Finally, Kanata spoke. His voice was soft and gentle carrying a melodious hum as he dragged out the end of his sentences.

“I don’t really  _ need _ anything,” he hummed. “I just wanted a quiet place to rest that’s all.”

Tsumugi didn’t buy it for a second. It’s not that he didn’t trust Kanata’s words, he just knew Kanata and that if he wanted to rest anywhere it would be in the school’s fountain. Something else had brought him to the library. 

“Really? That’s all?” Tsumugi asked.

“Mhm.”

Kanata didn’t say anything after that, he just laid his head back down on the desk. Tsumugi knew that Kanata was the president of the Marine Bio Club, so in terms he knew that Kanata had somewhere other to be then napping in the library.

“Kanata-kun shouldn’t you be with your club right now though?”

Kanata didn’t saying anything. Slowly, he turned his head to face Tsumugi. Usually his face was unreadable, but Tsumugi could clearly see the visual distress on his face. 

“Kaoru was pestering me again about meeting him at the aquarium this weekend. Even though I’ve turned him down twice already.”

Ah. Now he understood.

“Souma couldn’t make it today so I was stuck in a room with him by myself. Kaoru can also be pretty relentless when he wants something so I just decided to leave.”

“So you just left Kaoru-kun without saying anything?”

Kanata shook his head. “No. I told him that I was going to go stay in the library with you.”

“And he’s still pursuing you?”

Kanata nodded. “I think he sees right through our facade. He’s knows we’re not really dating.”

_ Well shit _ . This had been going for a while actually. The idea first came into play when Kaoru decided to pop into 3-B one day to visit Kanata. He seemed relentless in in asking him out and Kanata just wasn’t interested. After a few stern no’s Kanata had about had it when finally Tsumugi had approached the two wanting to return a book he had borrowed from him. Desperate for an escape and without thinking Kanata bursted out.

“Actually Kaoru, Tsumugi and I are currently going out.”

Kaoru was shocked, Tsumugi was shocked, and so was the entire class of 3-B. No one said a word everyone just stared towards the three. Rei and Wataru wore extatic looks on their faces, probably happy that Kanata had found someone who could understand him. Leo looked like he was about to explode with inspiration as Nazuna quietly applauded the two clearly excited at the sudden news. All the while Kuro could do nothing but shake his head and mumble something about how strange everyone in his class was. However, the happy and slightly awkward silence was soon broken by a small laugh.

“Kanata are you serious?” Kaoru laughed. “Not gonna lie you got me there for a second.”

Kanata gave Kaoru a soft smile then looked to Tsumugi. His eyes were pleading for him to play along and being the kind person that he was Tsumugi responded with a small nod.

“Kaoru-kun, Kanata-kun wasn’t lying to you,” Tsumugi said softly. “We are actually going out.”

Hearing it straight from the latter seemed to send the message better as Kaoru’s smile faded. Tsumugi wondered if he dug his own grave at that point seeing as Kaoru was giving him a look that could kill. After Kanata had finally managed to shoo him away they were swarmed by the rest of class 3-B wanting to know more about the two “love birds”. Ever since then they kept up the act not only for Kanata’s sake but Tsumugi too. The perks that came with “dating” Kanata were pretty nice in his opinion. He received less physical abuse from Natsume, Shu seemed to tolerate him more when he attended Handcraft Club meetings, and the members of Ryuseitai were even more friendly towards him. School life for him improved more than he would have even thought. 

In order to keep up the act the two would try to spend as much of their time together as possible. If Kanata was wading in the fountain Tsumugi would go sit with him. When Tsumugi had Library Committee Kanata would join him while he shelved books. All the while they would talk about school, their unitmates, and sometimes personal things. However, whenever they did those things it was all an act to keep people thinking that they were actually dating. 

But to Tsumugi he never felt like he was acting. He never minded sitting with Kanata by the fountain nor did he mind speaking with him while he worked. To him the time they spent together was fill with genuine enjoyment and happiness. Everytime Kanata asked him to hang out his heart would skip a beat before answering and of course he always agree. But not so they could keep up the act because Tsumugi loved spending time with with him. He even wondered at time if what he felt was what it felt like to be in love.

“Tsumugi did you hear me?”

Suddenly, Tsumugi was pulled back to reality upon hearing his name called. Kanata was staring at him with his listless eyes. 

“No, I’m sorry Kanata-kun I didn't hear you.”

Kanata sighed. “I asked you what are we going to do? Kaoru knows we’re both acting so he’s going to start pursuing me again.”

The listlessness in his eyes turned to sorrow. It pained Tsumugi to see him in such a state of despair. He wished he could do more to help Kanata instead of standing idly by playing boyfriend all day long. He wanted to do something for him, but he just didn’t know what someone like him could do that would be meaningful.

“I don’t want to hurt his feelings by being too forceful with my rejections because I like being Kaoru’s friend but…” he paused. “I only want to be his friend. And I don’t want to keep acting in order for him to stay that way…”

“I wasn’t acting,” Tsumugi whispered. 

Kanata lifted his head, the listlessness disappeared from his eyes and replaced with wonder. Tsumugi clamped his hand over his mouth and took a step back. He couldn’t believe he just said that, in front of Kanata. His cheeks began to heat up as his mind raced a mile a minute trying to think of an excuse to why he said that. Kanata stood from where he sat and leaned over the desk towards Tsumugi.

“You weren’t acting? What do you mean?”

He had lead himself into a corner. Unknowing of what to saying he said nothing and stared at Kanata in fear. What if he didn’t feel the same way? What if he was the only one enjoying the times they had spend together? What if he was just kidding himself? Him getting to invested into something that was nothing and in the end he would find that he was only kidding himself. He didn’t deserve something as nice as a relationship. He didn’t deserve  _ someone  _ as kind and as beautiful as Kanata. But that wasn’t going to stop him from trying.

“I-I wasn’t….I wasn’t acting, because I like spending time with you.”

Kanata froze. 

“All those days we spent together I really loved listening to what you had to say. How your eyes would light up when you talked about the ocean or about your unit. I love when you come to visit me in the library even when I tell you that you don’t have to, you come anyway. And also I like that whenever you’re feeling down you come talk to me about it and it makes me feel really good when I can do that for you. Being there for you I mean. I love...being there for you and being with you.”

God his face was heating up like crazy, he must have looked like an idiot standing there babbling on about nonsense. He was so embarrassed that he couldn’t even look Kanata in the eyes. He was staring at the floor the entire time, he must have looked so foolish. Tears began to prick from his eyes as he tried to hold them back. But it was futile as the dams broke and tears streamed down his face. 

“I know I don’t deserve to love someone as wonderful as you and that I’ll only hold you back, but I want to support you always. So if it’s ok with you could we still, maybe hangout after we break it to everyone else. I just...I just don’t-”

Tsumugi felt a hand glide across his cheek wiping his tears away. He looked up to see Kanata face to face with him. He was on top of the desk, one hand on Tsumugi’s cheek and the other holding on to his shoulder for balance. Shocked, he quickly darted his eyes back to the floor trying to avoid his gaze. Suddenly, he felt something soft and warm on his lips. Tsumugi squeezed his eyes shut and leaned into it. Was Kanata kissing him? Why? Of all the people he could kiss, why did he pick him? He pulled away still too afraid to open his eyes however, he felt Kanata’s thumb rub gently across his cheek. It felt so warm, so full of love and compassion. Slowly. Tsumugi opened his eyes. Kanata was there his face dotted with a light blush and smile that could melt any heart. 

“I wasn’t acting either,” Kanata said. “I like you a lot too, Tsumugi.”

_ Confirmation _ . Confirmation that he wasn’t kidding himself. That what he felt was real and that Kanata felt it too. More tears fell from Tsumugi’s face, he was so happy. Probably, the happiest he had ever been. Someone cared about him, cherished him, loved him. Even though he knew he didn’t deserve to be that happy it meant the world to him, those feelings. He brought his hands to Kanata’s and cried. Kanata pressed his head against Tsumugi’s and held him tightly. He needed to be there for him more then Tsumugi had thought. 

“I didn’t say anything because I thought that you were just pretending to like me,” Kanata said. 

“I thought the same,” Tsumugi said. “I guess we're both a little oblivious.”

Kanata lifted his head brushing his nose against Tsumugi’s.

“Tsumugi.”

“Yes Kanata-kun?”

Kanata tucked some of Tsumugi’s hair behind his ear and placed a small kiss onto his nose. Tsumugi was a little nervous that his glasses would get in the way, but Kanata didn’t seem to mind too much.

“Will you go out with me?”

Again Kanata had left him breathless and no way in which he could stop the water works. Was he trying to make things official between them? Or was he just trying to mess with him? Either way Kanata was expecting an answer and Tsumugi always hated to disappoint.

“I'd love to,” he said softly.

Everything at that moment felt perfect. Finally he was with someone for whom he cherished and who cherished him back. He thought back to the morning and his horoscope. For once it seemed to come true. He was feeling something he had never felt before and he hoped that he would be able to feel it for the rest of his life.

After a few moments of crying and tender kisses Tsumugi finally calmed down enough for the two to begin their routine of chatting in the library. Only this time it felt more real then the last few times. However, this time Tsumugi could see past the listlessness in Kanata’s eyes and see the love that dwelled deep inside. So this is what it truly felt like to be loved.


End file.
